On death and life

I have been sitting in bed since yesterday, because my cat of 17 years is dying. But he is at peace, and comfortable, and warm, and I am not leaving his side. He crawled in next to me, under the covers, and has been there ever since. It won't be long now. 

I am glad I can provide comfort, but I have to admit, I am tired of being the one to watch things die. Including people. And if I hear one more person whine and cry "poor me" because a grandma died, or someone else, I will scream. I mean, I understand, and I sympathize, but I was the only person in the room with my dad when he died, and I was alone with him afterward for an hour, and I don't run around telling everyone and bawling about it.  

I empathize. I really, really do. But using something like that to get attention?? Get over yourselves. 

Just like I don't use my life to get attention. There are too many people who have had crappy lives...been hurt, abused, used, mistreated, lied to, betrayed......and so many in worse ways than I have. Yeah, the things that happened to me suck. But others have gone through worse. If I can't use what has happened to me to empathize and help someone, then I keep it to myself. I don't use it to get attention, or cry "poor me!"

I don't mean to sound harsh. I am just tired of certain people thinking they are the only one bad things happen to. And then using that as an excuse to do more drugs, or isolate, or attempt suicide, or whatever they do when they are feeling sorry for themselves. And I can say that because I used to be one of those people.

I am actually happy in my life right now. Of course I want to do more, and I am, and will. But I am grateful for every single day I have, no matter how good or bad it is. There is always someone who has had it worse.  

I intend to use my experiences to help others. Otherwise, what's the point to anything?